Je Suis Blog

If you are South Asian or Middle Eastern origin person, and haven't seen Paris yet, be prepared to be treated like the Sikhs and people of Indian/Pakistan origin after 9/11 when you go there.. These mindless terrorist attacks on the basis of religion do good for nobody! The attackers mostly die, their loved ones suffer in grief, mourn and scorn, their religion gets a bad rep, their countries get put on the blacklist of travels, they suffer economic losses if they support these attacks, and poverty drives illiteracy and gives birth to more such people. As such their very own people suffer a consequence. Few misguided idiots cause hurt and pain to Nations! Its a lose lose situation.

My faith in any sort of religion just keeps diminishing after every such attack. I do fear the unknown, and do believe in fate, but I don't think any one religion has done a good job of consulting the right God. My religion is simple: Select whatever name, idol, face, entity, non entity you want to. Thank it/her/him for this life you have, seek wisdom to understand the difference in right and wrong and seek courage to do whats right. I make it a point to teach this to my son.

So I write

The other day my mom found a piece of paper from the yonder years... A time when we didn't have blogs...a time when a wall meant that... A wall. And a time when you wrote your thoughts with a pen on a piece of paper and didn't have 140 characters limit.

So she found my notes on the very first concert I attended. A Michael Jackson concert. As a teenager that was by far the coolest thing I had ever done. And I had lots of fun doing it. As an adult I'm now embarrassed at the thought of my mom reading the words of a squealing  teenage boy.

So I mentioned this to s, and that i used to write a lot like this as a kid and now I'm concerned what else my mom could find. Knowing me, the only concern s had was, why wasn't I writing more frequently now.

It's not like i write award winning essays, this is really just a diary, and I don't really know why I do get this urge to write stuff. I can still get super excited with new stationery. 

So anyways, maybe this is my wake up call, and I might start blogging more.

Currently humming the songs of yjhd in my head. Gnight!

If you run

There is a state of life we all enjoy to be in. Current-state.. Only if nothing bad is happening. When something's don't go your way, you wish rather pine for that current-state. But that Current-state is such a horrible poison, it's such an addictive drug, that it numbs all your senses.

In that Current-state we give in, drop down our fences, start assuming and worse forget to move on. I saw the kid president speech by the soul pancake group and it reminded me the words of Steve Jobs and pretty much the sentiment of every visionary on earth.

"I think if you do something and it turns out pretty good, then you should go do something else wonderful, not dwell on it for too long. Just figure out what's next."

This applies to every aspect of life.

S is out of town and that brought me out of my current-state... The question is, what will I do till she gets back?

Listening to "if you run" - boxer rebellion

Monday Blues

If Monday blues is a shade of blue ... then post long weekend monday blues is the darkest blue that exists out there in the world of pantone.

The day started off as usual with me waking up just to drop s at the station. But unlike any other day I ended up jogging for 2+ miles. I was dedicated to kind of go out there and restart my exercising habits back. Which also got me back to reading the news while listening to the radio.

Work was a bit of a drag on a monday after a 4 day weekend. Hopefully tomorrow wont be so bad.

Had tomato soup for lunch and Aloo Paratha, Aloo Methi Sabji and Navratan Kurma for dinner.

Highlight of the day was taking pictures for lil S my nephew for his 1st bday. I edited a disney badge that we had received on our 1st visit to read 1st Bday. S and I cut a small pastry and took pictures while doing so ... was good to do something for lil S's first bday.

Also its one of those days for S. She has to work tonight so was a lil bit off focus. Sometimes that gets me cranky ... it did me today.

Off to a lil bit this and that on TV.

A new turn

For all that is alive... I feel I should start blogging. Maybe just a personal diary of sorts since the only traffic my blog gets is googles web crawlers.

What did I do today?
- Cooked both meals, a besan and Simla mirch sabji in the am and a pizza n chicken samosas in the pm
- Watched the LOTR's Return of the Kings, for the nth time. Watching the trilogy is s and my idea of a relaxed weekend.
- Finished a minor task in Gta iv.... I love open world games and hate them....I've been playing Gta iv for 3.5+ years and yet no end in sight....get distracted by darts with roman n drinks with lil Jacob
- Watched a couple of episodes of greys anatomy.... The show makes me act like a doctor with myself ... Today I checked myself for symptoms of a totally random disease and freaked s out ...
- Checked out cyber Monday deals but shopped nothing.... Shopping around for a tv n a home theatre system but since both are not a necessity I'm holding back for a real good deal.
- Grocery shopping... Bought supplies for a berry pie and the aforementioned pizza.
Went to the mall... While s got her beauty treatments I observed people and their expressions...checked out GameStop to see if they had uncharted dual pack.. No luck.
- winded down the day by watching cnn's hbo documentary "Mumbai in Terror" about the shootings of November 2008.

So basically did a whole lot of nothing but sit in front of tv and eat.

What could I have done?
Exercised
Donated money to a charity
Vacuum the house
Clean out the pending mail...

Ummm mostly chores and one good deed. The good deed will be done tomorrow.

Till then good night

God

When it comes to God. I dont really know what my relationship with him is. I dont believe my fate should be controlled by anything or anybody. But yet I do believe in luck. How can I believe in a random notion as luck and yet question the existence of a Deity? Luck is about being at the right place and the right time. But whats to say that God plans these Right place Right Times for people? I know I cant seriously ever discuss my religious views with anyone. Ill probably joke it off, Ill probably shrug it off or just go through the whole conversation without meaning it at all. 

God is rightfully in everything we do. God is in every awake moment of your life and every dream. God is in you, your consciousness, your awareness to differentiate Right/Wrong. There is no wrong, if you dont believe in it. Life is a series of decisions. You live your choices. And you guide your decisions with the inner voice of God. Your own voice. Your own consciousness.

There are three songs that I really like. And they feel right when I think of God. 

The first is Akheer by Juggy D. 

Akheer The last or The end

Jadon sir to chath hi lit jaaye
When the roof comes off your head
Badhal bijli sit jaye
Clouds and lightning come down
Likihya na hi mit jaaye
Everything that is written gets erased
Dharthi chadh jaye tha
Even the world leaves your side
Phir Iko kaam tu kare pyariya
Then do only one thing my love
Le le usda naam
Remember God's name

Jado duniya rabh hi ban jaaye
When your world becomes one with God
Panni aag hi ban jaaye
When your eyes fill with tears
Ko sawab hi ban jaaye
When everyone becomes a stranger
Na abu ranee na ma
Neither your father or mother are there
Phir Iko kaam tu kare pyariya
Then do only one thing my love
Le le usda naam
Remember God's name

Jado buliya ma naya vey
Until you say your mom's name she wont come
Haath joyriya mai nai ma nai vey
Until you pray your hands to God,
he wont listen
Sidhamkar sham hi nai aave
Bulan na banere kat ka
Phir Iko kaam tu kare pyariya
Then do only one thing my love
Le le usda naam
Remember God's name

Jado lokhan le tu maran turay
When you are ready to die for other people
Sabhan banaye karan turay
Like a soap you are washing other's sins
Has Has suni chan turay
People sit and laugh at you
Sah rahe na jaayan
There is neither breath nor life in you
Phir Iko kaam tu kare pyariya
Then do only one thing my love
Le le usda naam
Remember God's name...

The Second Song is Ith Naheen by Sanam Marvi from Coke Studio Sessions Season 4.

Title: Ith Naheen If Not Right Here
Language: Urdu, Siraiki
Poet: Sachal Sarmast (d. 1829)

tu mila bhi hai tu juda bhi hai
You are merged, You are also apart
tera kya kahna
You defy description!
tu sanam bhi hai tu khuda bhi hai
You are the idol. You are also God
tera kya kahna
You defy description!
kya kahna
defy description!
ith naheen te kith naheen
if not right here, then nowhere
ith naheen te kith naheen
if not right here, then nowhere
eeho kaun pya bolainda
who is this who is speaking
bolainda
is speaking
bolainda
is speaking
ith naheen te kith naheen
if not right here, then nowhere
kanjari waali soorat ban ke
assuming the appearance of a dancing girl
sachal naam saḍenda
“Sachal, the Truthful’ is he proclaimed as
he is proclaimed as “(Sachal) the Truthful’
saḍenda
proclaimed as
saḍenda
proclaimed as
ith naheen to kith naheen
if not right here, then nowhere

And the third song is Aik Alif by Saieen Zohar and Noori

Parh parh ilm te faazil hoya
You read to become all knowledgable
Te kaday apnay aap nu parhya ee na
But you never read yourself
Bhaj bhaj warna ay mandir maseeti
You run to enter your mosques and temples
Te kaday mann apnay wich warya ee na
But you never entered your own heart

Larna ay roz shaitaan de naal
Everyday you fight Satan
Te kadi nafs apnay naal larya ee na
But you never fight your own Ego
Bulleh Shah asmaani ud-deya pharonda ay
Bulleh Shah you try grabbing that which is in the sky
Te jera ghar betha unoon pharya ee na
But you never get hold of what sits inside yourself

Bas kareen o yaar
Stop it all my friend
Ilm-oun bas kareen o yaar
stop seeking all this knowledge my friend
Ik Alif teray darkaar
Only an Alif is what you need
Bas kareen o yaar
stop it all my friend
Ilm-oun bas kareen o yaar…
Stop seeking all this knowledge my friend

Allah Sayyaan Allah Sayyaan
God is Greatness, God is All
Nee main jaanaa Jogi de naal
I shall follow the Jogi {ascetic/Sufi}

Jo naa jaane, Haqq ki taaqat
those who deny the strength of Truth
Rab naa devey us ko Himmat
God does not give them courage
Hum Mann ke darya mein doobey
We have drowned in the river of Self
Kaisi nayya? Kya manjhdhaar…
the boat and the flowing waters do not matter

Bas kareen o yaar
stop it all my friend
Ilm-oun bas kareen o yaar
stop seeking all this knowledge my friend
Allah Sayyaan Allah Sayyaan
God is Greatness, God is All

And so we live

Its a Sunday night againAnd I find myself listening to some music and just whiling time on the internet. So I decided to Post something. And as my typical posts have been, it's about the weekend, it's about life and it's about music. Been a year since s and I are living a long distance relationship, not a small long distance nut a rather long long one . East coast west coast , one red eye flight apart! And all this while I just have learnt to appreciate S more n more for all that she is in my life! Met up some old friends today and while just catching up we came to the conclusion that we both would just dread getting back to the game! Lol! Not that we stand a chance, not that we would even think of it, but if faced with that situation we wouldnt last a bit! Life has its bit of irony saved for me always. We are getting some really great news for people so dear to us, and here we are stuck between a soup and curry! But this too shall pass! With patience and perseverance! Lol somewhere in my school anthem were those two words, now I know the meaning of em. Food... I have been thankful to god to bring me to such a city where there's just an abundance of variety of cuisines. Not to mention the money to be able to buy that food :) so thank you god. For that vada pav restaurant between my work and home and thank you god for that late night Pakistani restaurant that serves a great Biryani and achari chicken! Today I was so stuffed I couldn't even have dinner.... But the afternoon was really special! With friends and food and wine and desserts! And coffees! Music... So lately I'm listening to a motley crew of music bands, the killers, Mumford and sons, band of horses, Paulo nutini, kings of Leon, Coldplay, onerepublic and Jason mraz. And then there's skrillex, the glitch mob and ukf. So yeah pretty bizarre spectrum but overall entertaining. Took a hike and went to a very beautiful place. Took tonnes of pictures, except my memory card was corrupted. Lost all my pics :( cest la vie... End of a very relaxing weekend. Back to the grind